Mexico City

13 February 2023

Dear Tennessee,

It’s me.  Today is the two hundred and twenty-fifth day since you left this earth.  I miss you every day.  Some more than others.

It's been a four months since my last letter to you.  I haven't forgotten you, it is just that the need to write is getting less frequent.  I have a lot to tell you.  I started chair yoga, meditation and now follow a raw vegetable diet.  I also limit my alcohol to once or twice a week.  You would be so proud of me.  I have lost weight and my diabetes is under much better control.  I no longer need basal insulin.

About a month ago I decided I needed to get away.  You remember how much we used to travel together.  I wanted to see if I could do this again without you.  Of course, it is possible.  Make plane and hotel reservations, arrive on time at the airport and get on the plane.  That part is easy.  Emotionally leaving home, being away from the dogs, and not having you there.  Travelling completely alone like I did in the early days of our marriage is what I am talking about.  I have several days left and, so far so good.  I don't feel really lonely, and can manage without the companionship of another person.  But you are still with me.  When I go places here in Mexico City, I think about you.  I look at the bad sidewalks and even though easy for me to traverse, I realize how difficult it would be for you to walk without tripping. 

Yesterday I attended The Ballet Folklorio de Mexico.  It was very special to me.  I wish you could have seen it.  You would have enjoyed the costumes, the dance and the music.  I have been practicing meditation techniques which allow me to be more in the moment.  It helps me a lot, especially when I am missing you more than ever.  These techniques allow me to see and hear things I normally would not notice.  The way the performers feet move on the floor, how the lace dresses move on the ladies, and I hear new detail in the music.  While I am there in the moment, my mind drifts into how much you would enjoy the show.  I bring it back into my current awareness so I can get the most out of what I am watching.

The trip has gone well so far.  You would not l like the place I am staying at.  It is basic and there's no heat.  Mexicans don't heat homes like we do.  Here in Mexico City the days are warm and the nights cool.  Mostly it is temperate.  Although I don't feel lonely, I miss our dogs.  They are such a big part of my life now that you are gone.  I seem to meet new people everywhere.  You know it is always easy for me to introduce myself, tell a funny story and make new friends.  That part has not changed.  From people I meet casually in an event, to the Uber driver, I feel very comfortable striking up a conversation.  My Spanish is improving to the point where I can more easily converse with people.  I plan on living here for at least a year.  Something I can only do now that you are gone.  For lots of reasons, you would hate living in Mexico.  I know you are happy understanding I can follow my dreams.

Love,

Greg