Love Letters to Tennessee

17 September 2022 Hello Tennessee, It’s me.    Today is the seventy-sixth day since you left this earth.    I miss you every day.    Some more than others.  Today is one of those days. I'm home now.  I say home because it is the house we lived together for 20 of the nearly 30 years since we were married.  I thought I was getting better.  But today, grief hit me like a ton of bricks.  Maybe it is the memories stored here.  Pieces of your jewelry, photos, the smell of the bed, things your purchased and had good intentions of using, but now will go to someone else.  I hope they appreciate them.   I can't work anymore today.  Partly because my back is sore, but mostly because my heart exploded with grief this afternoon.  I feel like I just want to go to bed but Lexi is so comfortable up there I don't want to disturb her.  Losing you is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  Just when I th...

03 September 2022 Hello Tennessee, It’s me.    Today is the sixty-second day since you left this earth.    I miss you every day.    Some more than others. Sorry I have not written in a while.  I write to help ease my grief which has been better over the last week.  Not to say I have stopped grieving you.  I think about you often and the tears still come.  It is just that I am able to cope with missing you a little better.  I will always miss you.  My heartbreak of losing you just gets easier to manage.  But every now and again it grabs me and wrenches my heart. I am learning a lot about how to manage losing you.  I know you prepared me for the loss, but nothing prepared me for the actual moment you took your last breath.  I remember it precisely.  It's as if your passing was just yesterday.  I doubt I will ever forget the way you passed.  Sometimes I wake up at 3:30 am and reach for you but to my d...